Parenting starts with knowing what it is all about. As a parent, what are really your goals and responsibilities including your knowledge of your children?
We learn parenting from our parents and from others. However, our parents' style of parenting may not always be proper.
Goals of parenting
- To pass on a Godly heritage to the next generation
- To develop children to reach their God-given potential (mental, emotional, physical, spiritual and social).
- To help our children grow in faith.
- To bring honor and glory to God.
Pursue Something Eternal.
Having children is a gift that comes with responsibility. How to raise them is a different story. Children can grow up in church but not in Christ. It is not easy but I try my best to live in Christ so I can impress and train my son to grow up in Christ.
I must admit, oftentimes when I wake up in the morning, I am aching to touch my phone and start browsing on Facebook. The struggle is real - and I know for myself, once I start on Facebooking, a couple of hours will be wasted. But I have to show my son my priorities which I always tell him.
Setting this clear makes him think about what his priorities in life shall be. My husband and I are very much happy to tell him about his priorities:
A Child's Priorities
- School (this is number 3 since he doesn't have a sibling yet)
I grew up hearing a lot of Filipino parents say this:
"The best thing I could give you is education. It is our only inheritance to you."
Yes and include all the drama! And it's sad that many of us rely on this saying as literal as it is - relying on schools and teachers for children's literacy. Having an academic diploma would bring one an accomplishment but it doesn't complete anything.
Walk The Talk.
You have to be hands-on with your kids.
"Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it."~Proverbs 22:6
Try your very best, this is hard especially for those working moms out there. I feel you but you have to think orange! 😉 <<Read more about this on How To Think Orange>>
The closer the relationship you have with your kids, the greater your influence is to them. 👪
How To Build Relationship: ACT!
Here's a video I found on Facebook that says a lot about affirmation and communication. Children need to hear encouraging words from us!
In one of our family dinner talks, I asked my son what he thinks I am most passionate about. He pronounced that every time we're on a trip, I always look for something to buy. He was struggling to comprehend why I always love to shop! So this is what he sees and I have to improve myself. He has a point and I need to change for the better.
Then Jesus called for the children and said to the disciples, "Let the children come to me. Don't stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children."- Luke 18:16
The best ever blessing that anyone can have is God's presence. Teaching your child to build a personal relationship with our creator can be the best training he could ever have. Thus the best wealth a child could possess.
Three years ago, we bought a Bible for our son. We realized he needs one suitable for his age. We wanted him to read it and have an interest in it. While I realized I don't read my Bible every so often and when I do, I do my quiet time alone when my son is asleep and when nobody sees me.
But this year I had to change that. I learned that what a child sees in you is important. Every minute he sees me is an opportunity to train him, even without him knowing. Seriously, I terminated using the Bible app on my phone whenever I am at home. I habitually switched into enjoying to read and flip through the pages of the real book.
At any moment my son enters our bedroom, my goal is for him to see me doing my quiet time and reading the Bible. If I use the Bible app, he won't know I am reading the Bible, unless he comes close to me to check. He would think that his mom is either browsing through social pages, playing a game or worse, shopping online. 😛 So that's why I use the book willfully. After a few days, he gets his own Bible and reads on his own. Before, I would need to force him to do so. Now, I believe that showing your kids your passion for knowing God to have a deeper relationship have a huge influence on their decisions in life.
Ever since it has been a routine for Jaden to read his Bible before bedtime at night and prior to his afternoon naps. Here I shared one of his readings. Jaden Reads For You: The King Who Said No
In conclusion, parenthood requires modeling.
Your modeling doesn't have to be perfect because no one is perfect. But it has to be genuine! Point your children to Christ. Below I quote Pastor Peter Tan-Chi of Christ Commission Fellowship.
Modeling does not need perfection, it requires authenticity.